Monday, March 28, 2011
Friends.
I've been looking back on my life lately and I have come to realize that the only people that have really stuck by me were my friends. I didn't have a great family to fall back to so naturally I made friends and I have been surrounded by them ever since. However, the last week or so I look back on just my friends. I have had the same friends since I was in elementary and middle school and we all still hang out only it's different. We all have changed. Just like any other group of friends there are two people that are closer to each other than the rest, which is understandable. And even though every time we all get together and hang out there seems to be an enormous elephant in the room. Non of us are going to talk about it but we want to. We aren't the same people we once were back in the old days. Our priorities are different and there seems to be too much going on in our individual lives. I will be the first to admit that I have my own problems that I need to conquer first before helping others, I have no place judging my friends and the way they handle things that's their business. Yet at times I can't help but to think if they are still my friend for the same reasons long ago..considering that I've changed. It seems that our non-dramatic group has now become built up on drama at least to me it is. Whenever we hang out it seems like something has to always go wrong or someone always has to say a sarcastic comment to each other. The group is like divorced parents' and the other parent (friend) doesn't like it if you want to go hang out with the other for a day. And of course we don't want that parent to be mad at us so we make up a lie, such as, "I have to spend the whole day with my family sorry." When what it actually means is, "I don't want to hang out with you today and I already have plans with a person you don't always necessarily get along with, but don't get mad." That or they don't text back, which is always nice. I can honestly say I loved it when friends knocked on your door and asked to go play. I miss when we could all tell each other what we thought to each others' faces, instead we just sit and act like nothing is going on and then wait to tell our closest friend what we actually think. Well this isn't good because now it just leads into DRAMA. I explained last time how I left about it so I don't need to go on much more. I love my friends, they mean everything to me, but I feel like we are going through a rough break up and we can either sit and discuss where this relationship is going or we can part our separate ways and stay civil. Either way I would like to have this all figured out rather than keeping an unwanted elephant in the room.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
elephants in the room are only elephants in the room if you let there be, so i guess you have actually done a good thing for your group of friends by writing this blog, but only if you know that your group of friends will be reading it.
ReplyDeleteJust from what I've experienced, I think that once your friends get into High School and get involved with a even bigger group of people, that is when they start to change and the drama starts to become even more. People change, unfortunately its usually for the worst most of the time. Keep hanging with your friends who keep by your side.
ReplyDeletei have had the same friends since I was in elementary and middle school and they all changed. I wondered why we are friends too but i know they will be right there when i need help.
ReplyDeleteYou're so right on everything. I too have had the same friends since elementary school, but during the late middle school days and especially now in high school, everyone is changing. Some are more focused on boys, others like to be involved in 'bad' things, and we all don't really agree with each other and yet we still stay friends because its been that way for 10 years. That elephant is always there whenever i'm with 2 or more friends. Guess we're just growin up:/
ReplyDeleteWhat I am use to: When there is a problem we address it at the moment or soon after and say, "Hey man. You need to be more conscientious of your actions because they upset me." Or something along the lines of that.
ReplyDeleteIf one of my friends is doing something with someone else I am use to them telling me they already have plans and I'm okay with that because I am not 7 anymore. Sometimes it is me on the other end who has the plans. For me, there is never really an elephant in the room because if there is a problem my friends sit down and figure it out before reacting. If someone is upset, we wait till they cool down so they can logically gain control. Acting on a whim never usual results in favored manor.
Excess drama is only caused when people talk behind someone's back weather they are speaking their side or what they "think" happened. Everyone's schemas (viewpoints) are different. So if something happened it is best to keep it between the people who it happened. Groups of people do work but you have to realize that once in awhile two or more people are going to have a moment with each other. You take it, like everything else, in stride.
We are growing up and people are changing. That is something we can't control or prevent. But we can we conscious of our own actions and our contribution to friendship.
I totally agree my friends have changed since middle school and so have I. I hang out with a different group now and my old group I really dont talk too I feel bad about it but I feel that I have outgrown them and my new friends make me feel like I fit in more. So I get were you are coming from its really hard sometimes but it will all work out in time.
ReplyDelete